At the moment you can say i am engaged and planning to get married early February, In Shaa Allah. Me and my fiance are having problems as him and I dont want a wedding as we understand that it is haroum, my parents want a wedding in a hall with music and dancing. My dad says the only way he will bless my marriage is by doing what he wants. What can i do?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

We appreciate the desire for you and your fiancé to have a legitimate marry. May Allaah reward you generously and bless your marriage. We have previously clarified the impermissibility of having celebrations and parties involving what is forbidden such as music, prohibited intermixing between males and females and the like. Please refer to Fatwas 89920 and 88103.

Obedience to parents is confined to what is good and lawful, not in what constitutes disobedience to Allaah. It is impermissible for you to obey your father if he asks you to do what is forbidden. The blessings of Allaah are imparted to actions that are in accordance with the Sharee‘ah and not those that incur the wrath of Allaah and violate His Sharee‘ah.

We advise you to supplicate Allaah for your father to bless him with guidance to what is right. Try to seek the help of whomever you believe is able to convince him to change his mind. If he persists, you should persistently refuse his request. Console yourself with the Hadeeth narrated by ‘Aa’ishah in which the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allaah by the people’s wrath, Allaah will suffice him from the people, and whoever seeks the people’s pleasure by the wrath of Allaah, Allaah will entrust him to the people.” [At-Tirmithi]

In any case, you have to be kind to your father and beware of doing what may be impolite or inappropriate towards him even if he mistreats you. Perhaps by virtue of that, Allaah will make your father give you his blessings.

Allaah Knows best.