Assalaamu alaikum. My husband has had problems with my father right from the beginning of our marriage, and my father was at fault everytime. He would shamelessly apologise or lie to appease my husband, and my husband would let it go in order to mantain peace. This continued during the first 12 years of our marriage. In the 12th year, certain incidents took place that caused my husband to feel that he had had enough. So he decided that he and our kids will no longer associate with my parents, but he allowed me to call and visit them. Please note that he came to this decision after talks with my father failed as my father twists and turns things for his own benefit. He also said that any further talk will be done in the presence of family elders, which my father will never agree to as he knows that he will lose face in front of others. Four years have passed now. Meanwhile, I continued to call them and visit (twice yearly as I visit my home country twice in a year). My calls were strained and lasted a few minutes. My father proclaimed to me that I will not be given any of his wealth, and they cut ties with me. My mother even called me once in ramadan and asked me to stop calling her. I have continued calling and visiting them despite their order, only for the sake of Allaah, The Exalted. I was diagnosed with irregular heartbeat and mental stress was given as the cause. My husband asked me to stop calling them as they hurt me when I call them and ordered me to only talk to them if they call me. During my last visit to my home country, my mother asked me not to visit when I called her to visit. My husband said that, henceforth, he will only allow me to visit when they want to meet me. So now the situation is such that my parents have cut off ties with me and I have been ordered to not call or visit them. I know that my husband has been patient and that his decisions were not quickly made but justified. However, I worry that what we perceive to be just and right may not be so. What does the sharia say about this situation? Am I or my husband at fault? May Allaah reward you.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Our advice to you is to call your parents and to try to visit them and show love and kindness to them to the best of your ability; verily, the parents have great rights over their children. You are also advised to endure the harm that may be inflicted on you by them for the sake of Allaah, and you shall be generously rewarded for that.

We think that your husband would not prevent you from contacting your parents if you sought his permission to call and visit them to attain the pleasure of Allaah, The Exalted. Indeed, this is the optimal thing to be done in this regard.

However, if calling or visiting your parents incurs harm on your health, then hopefully you would bear no sin for refraining from it.

For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 160991.

Allaah knows best.