Salam aleikum . I had an discussion the other day with a friend who Said that we as parents have to chose spouses to our children bcz the sahabas never let their children ( especially if they were virgins ) to chose their husband / wife alone but that the parents have to do it , while me on the other hand i want to let my children chose their husbands / wifes alone ( if they are good of course not just anybody ) so is this true that its obligatory in islam that parents chose spouses ( unless their children asked them to do so ) ? Jazak allahu khairan

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we would like to plainly state that Islam prohibits any form of friendship between men and non-Mahram women. In fact, this act is a means leading eventually to great evil and corruption.

As far as your question is concerned, Allah, the Exalted, and His Messenger did not oblige the parent to choose the spouse of his son or daughter. Those who claim otherwise should bring forth evidence from the Quran and the Sunnah on this so-called obligation. Besides, it is not reported that the companions prevented their sons or daughters from choosing their spouses. In fact, this is some sort of lie against them. So, we advise this man to stop issuing Fatwa without knowledge and to fear Allah, the Almighty, since telling a lie against Allah is a grave matter. Even in the case of a daughter, the parents do not have the right to force her to marry a man she dislikes. This is evidenced by the Hadith recorded in the two books of Saheeh on the authority of Abu Hurayrah who narrated that the Messenger of Allah said, “A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.” Imam Muslim also narrated that He said: “A woman without a husband has more right to herself than her guardian, and a virgin’s permission must be asked about herself, her permission being her silence.”

Allah knows best.