For the past 3 years, I have requested that my Mom find a religious husband for me. I didn't ask my father for I feel embarrassed to ask him of such matters. Unfortunately, they have not taken this matter seriously and have not made any real attempts. As a result, I asked my sisters for help. Instead of helping, they have advised me to place an ad and to find a husband on the Internet. Now, I'm 25 years old and feel that I'm getting older. I fear Allah (SWT) and do not want to commit Zina or disregard my modesty. How can I achieve this obligation and still stay within the realm of Islam?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

We ask Allah to guide you to the truth and make easy for you the matter of marriage. May Allah protect you and us from disobedience to Him and make us all steadfast on Islam till we meet Him in Paradise.

We exhort your father to fear Allah, to follow His Commands and take care of those who are under his supervision.

The Prophet said: “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. A ruler is a guardian of his subjects, a man is a guardian of his family, a woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring, and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

We would like to tell your father that his children – sons or daughters – are among his subjects. Allah authorizes him to look after them. Indeed, he will be called to account for his deeds on the Day wherein neither wealth nor sons will avail; the Day when he will be in front of the Creator of the earths and heavens. He should remind himself of the Hadeeth reported by Imam Al-Bukhaari from ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab who said: “When (my daughter) Hafsa bint 'Umar lost her husband Khunays ibn Hudhayfah As-Sahmi who was one of the companions of Allah's Apostle and had fought in the battle of Badr and had died in Madeenah, I met 'Uthmaan ibn 'Affaan and suggested that he should marry Hafsa saying, “If you wish, I will marry Hafsa bint 'Umar to you'. On that, he said, 'I will think it over.’ I waited for a few days and then he said to me, 'I am of the opinion that I shall not marry at present.’ Then I met Abu Bakr and said, 'If you wish, I will marry you, Hafsa bint 'Umar'. He kept quiet and did not give me any reply and I became angrier with him than I was with Uthman. Some days later, Allah's Apostle demanded her hand in marriage and I married her to him. Later on, Abu Bakr met me and said, “Perhaps you were angry with me when you offered me Hafsa for marriage and I gave no reply to you?' I said, 'Yes'. Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, said, 'Nothing prevented me from accepting your offer except that I learnt that Allah's Apostle had referred to the issue of Hafsa and I did not want to disclose the secret of Allah's Apostle, but had he (i.e. the Prophet) given her up, I would surely have accepted her.”

Imam Ibn Hajar deduced some important points from the above Hadeeth saying: “The Hadeeth indicates that a person can suggest for his daughter, or whoever is in his guardianship, to someone righteous and religious. By this practice, the woman is the first to benefit. One should not feel ashamed to suggest his daughter or anyone to a righteous person. The Hadeeth also proves that suggesting a married person is also advisable since Abu Bakr was married at that time.”

Furthermore, your father should know also that Islam encourages minimizing the expenditure of a marriage to make it as easy as possible. The Prophet said: “The most blessed marriage is that which takes place with least expenditure.” [Ahmad]

No doubt, making the matters of marriage difficult through high demands of Mahar (bridal money) or something else causes much mischief in our society. The Prophet said: “If a man whose religion and moral conduct are pleasing to you proposes to you, then let him marry; otherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth.” [At-Tirmithi]

On the other hand, we advise you that shyness should not hinder you from drawing your father's attention to the matter of your marriage and reminding him of Allah.

Finally, we tell you that prior to anything else, one should seek refuge in Allah Who knows all apparent and hidden matters.

All matters are in His Hands; He is the Most Generous. The Prophet said: “Your Lord is Munificent and Generous, and is ashamed to turn away empty the hands of His servant when he raises them to Him.” [At-Tirmithi on the authority of Sulmaan al-Faarisi]

Allah knows best.