How to discriminate between your wife and your mother: if your mother wants you to leave your wife what do you do?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The mother, in Islam, retains a great right in terms of good treatment, care, good company, and all kinds of philanthropic aspects. She is the most worthy of good company, and the one whom if one treats badly commits one of the greatest sins entailing loss. Allah Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.} [Quran 17:23]

Furthermore, Abu Hurayrah narrated that a man came to the Prophet and asked him: “Who is more deserving of my good company?' The Prophet said: 'Your mother". Then, the man said: 'Then, who?' The Prophet replied: 'Then, your mother.' He said: 'Then, Who?' The Prophet again said: 'Then your mother.' The man said: 'Then who?' Thereupon, the Prophet said: 'Then, your father.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Moreover, Abu Bakrah narrated that the Prophet said: “Should I inform you of the greatest of the grave major sins.” They (his Companions) said; “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “To join others in worship with Allah, to disobey one's parents, (then he sat up after he was leaning) and added: false testimony. Then he kept repeating this last phrase till we wished that he would stop saying it.”

There are also other texts which confirm the mother's great rights upon her children. The wife, on the other hand, has rights upon her husband in terms of good treatment and good company as Allah Says (what means): {And live with them honorably.} [Quran 4:19]

There are many Ahadeeth that also highly recommend treating women well. Therefore, one has to make a balance between the rights of his mother and those of his wife, in a way that his good treatment to his mother must not be at the expense of his wife. Likewise, his kind treatment to his wife must not be at the expense of his mother. Thus, a man must keep in mind that he is not to obey his mother if she orders him to abandon his wife, for this does not enter in obedience and loyalty to her. Obedience should be within the framework of what is permissible only, and divorce is something dislikable that leads to the disintegration of a family and the destruction of an essential social structure. Ibn Taymiyyah was once asked about someone whose mother urges him to divorce his wife from whom he has children, is it permissible for him to do so? He answered: “It is not permissible to divorce her at his mother's request; rather, he has to be obedient to his mother but divorcing his wife does not entail good treatment and obedience to his mother. Allah knows best.” [Al-Fataawa al-Kubra: 3/331]

Besides, Al-Mardaawi said In Al-Insaaf: “If his mother orders him to divorce his wife, then (for Imam Ahmad) it is disliked to divorce her. As for Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah he said, “It is unlawful to do so.”

Allah knows best.