Asalaamu Aleykum This question is regarding my parents most emphasis on my dad. All through my youth years I have been following his wishes, such as not going outside, coming right back from school, not going to any basketball or any sport related activites, and pretty much going to school and coming back home. I did not have a youth and was percieved by all my friends as a vampire who never comes out at night. My father used to beat me up for no exact reasons and used to beat up my brothers to a point where they were hospitalized. Now im turning 20 and graduating from University and I feel like i am still treated like a baby. My curfew is 5:00 Pm whcih is right after all my classes and must be at home at the time due to the reason my dad is in the house 24 hrs a day. Everytime he pressures me I end up doing something bad. And when I talk tohim he uses verses from the Quran saying that Parents have high values and ends up makin a dua of curse against me which I highly value what ALLAH said. I luv my parents and want everything for them. But im getting treated like im in jail. I havent went back home for 6 days and my I really want my parents to understand that Im grown up and im capable of doing what I do best. I was wondering how I would approach them and what if they dont take me and curse me if I dont listen to their rules will ALLAH ACCEPT THE CURSES. I just want to be able to live free and to stop lieing to them when I am with my freinds. I love them and ALHAMDULLAH they taught me the religion now they are going old I dont think they will change their ways. Wat should i DO?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we thank you for visiting our site and we welcome your questions, and we ask Allaah to help us in admonishing you.

With regard to your problem, you should know, dear brother, that parents have a great right on their children in Islam, and they have a great status, as we clarified in Fataawa 86982 and 87019.

There are sound justifiable reasons for your parents to be concerned about you –other than the beating –because you live in a non-Muslim country where reasons of corruption and deviation are widespread, and if the parents do not pay attention to this and do not try to protect their children, then the children might get spoilt in those societies where dissoluteness and acts of disobedience are prevalent.

As regards beating to the extent of leaving scars or beating severely, and beating without reason, like in your case, then your father is wrong in this regard and this could lead to negative results contrarily to what your father intended.

Therefore, we advise you –and we hope that you will act according to our advice– to return home and seek the forgiveness of your parents, because the wrath of Allaah is ensued by angering parents, as the Prophet informed us.

Fleeing from home does not solve the problem; rather it makes it worse. Fleeing from home is not a suitable way of letting your parents know that you are grown up. Indeed, you may convey to them this information –which they already know – by discussing the matter with them. In this regard, you may seek the help of the pious and righteous people who are your father's friends so that they would advise your parents not to beat you [and your brothers] severely, or beat you without reason, and not to curse you.

The Prophet forbade the parents from supplicating against their children.

Moreover, you should beware of listening to bad friends who may encourage you to cut ties with your parents under the pretext that you are grown up and free to do whatever you wish. You should know that you are a Muslim who believes in Allaah, and that your parents have a right on you, contrarily to the non-Muslim children in that country who forget about their parents as soon as they feel that they became adult; they only remember them at New Year’s.

Therefore, dear brother, you should fear Allaah, and return to your parents and do not take their mistakes as a reason for cutting ties with them, as Allaah will ask you about their rights on you and ask them about your rights on them.

Finally, we ask Allaah to enable you to do what pleases Him, and protect you from bad company and guide your parents to do good.