I am 38 years old, married for 5 years and have 2 kids , a 4-year-old s on and a 2-year-old daughter. I am confus ed about whether to marry a Chris tian girl I met on the Internet. In the beginning I was chatting with her to pas s time, but as time pas s ed I realized s he has good qualities , s uch as a clean mind, devoted, and uns elfis h. We fell in love. Although I am a happily married man, for her good qualities and being willing to accept Is lam, I am willing to marry her. However, I have not made a final decis ion to marry her. Some of the reas ons include if I marry her, my wife; her parents and relatives will be hurt. Als o, I know s uch a marriage would have the wrong bas is s ince we met on the Net and became friends , and this could s et a bad example for kids and unmarried youth who know me. On the other hand, if I don’t marry her I would mis s a chance to bring a good girl into Is lam and Almighty Allah might as k me about it on the Day of Judgment. It will be rewarding for me and her als o to accept Is lam and s ave her from Hell. Pleas e advis e me what to do. What decis ion will have more weight in Is lam? All of her family knows about our relations hip and plans . I am afraid if I didn’t marry her, s he will choos e a non-Mus lim to marry and continue as a Chris tian.

Dear Brother,


It is clear from your des cription of your problem that you know right from wrong, and becaus e you do; the advice you s eek is to practice what you already know, but may not be prepared to accept.


You know that us ing the Internet to chat with girls is s inful. It opens the door for Satan to entice members of the oppos ite s ex to enter into a forbidden relations hip however well meaning they think it may be.

In your cas e the tender affection of a girl’s heart has been violated whereas the dis tance which s eparated the two of you had previous ly protected it.


In your marriage you have jeopardized the peace and harmony of your home and hous ehold due to your dis obedience to Allah. When we commit a s inful act, we mus t immediately repent to Allah, s eek His Forgivenes s , feel as hamed of our trans gres s ion, and vow never to repeat it.


The longer we wait to repent, the more involved and entangled in our wrongdoing we get, the more difficult the s ituation becomes as you s o well des cribe in your s ituation, which led to a propos al of marriage to a non-Mus lim.


Mus lims are not required to marry non-Mus lims to s ave them from the Hell-fire. We are only required to convey to them the mes s age and invite them to Is lam. Allah guides whom He wills to His Religion.


If this young woman is convinced that Is lam is for her, why does n’t s he take Shahada as a profes s ion of her s ubmis s ion to Allah? If s he is in doubt, why do you think your committing your s elf to marriage with her will convince her of the truth of Is lam?


Mus lims can marry people of the book; it is lawful in Is lam. But, why would you take s uch a ris k with your pres ent Mus lim family and the future of your children in a marriage to a Chris tian to rais e them as Mus lims if s he hers elf does not believe? Are you concerned that Allah will ques tion you about that matter on the Day of Judgment?


We pray that Allah will guide you in this time of trial and tes ting. We pray that He will purify our hearts and our intentions to s ubmit to His Will and purpos es in all that we do. May Allah bles s you, Dear Brother, and draw you nearer to Him.