i spend very long hours in relation to my work and my wife complains that i do not spend time with her at home. howver, i try to compensate by taking a few days off and spend time with her. on the other hand, she works too and i asked her to quit but she would refuse. my question is whether i owe her duties when she refuses to obey me regarding her job.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Since you asked your wife to leave her job, she is obliged to obey you in this regard as it is not permissible for a wife to go out to work except with her husband’s permission. Hence, if she goes out without his permission and has no sound reason for going out, then she is a disobedient wife. Her disobedience abolishes her right of spending on her. As a result, you are permitted to sleep in a separate bed (not to have sexual intercourse with her) as a way of disciplining her. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92407.

We advise you to try to understand each other, and you should treat one another kindly. Allaah Says (what means): {And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected to them, according to what is reasonable.}[Quran 2:228] Allaah also Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19] Happiness in marital life is attained when every spouse fulfils his duty towards the other and when they forgive one another for the mistakes that can be tolerated.