i bought a present for my children who are from my previous marrige without the permission of my husband as he was away at his first wives, when he found out he became angry that i do as i want and dont ask him anything first he is not fair between me and his first wife he spends more time with her and less with me , and the time he does spend with me , all we do is mostly fight as he misses his children and resents me for this reason . do i have to ask his permission before i buy things for my children or buy anything in the house from my money without asking him . for this reason he has postponed my turn saying i make him angry .please could you tell me in islam am i doing anything wrong as i dnt want to disobey allah. my children have nobody besides me their father dosent care for them so i buy them things so they dnt feel abandoned .

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The wife has the right to spend her money as she pleases in what is permissible and she is not obliged to seek the permission of her husband in doing so; we have already clarified this in Fataawa 86496 and 84249. Therefore, your husband has no reason for getting angry with you because of not seeking his permission. However, if seeking his permission comforts him, then you should seek his permission. Moreover, if buying some items for your children requires going out of the house, then you are obliged to seek the permission of your husband when going out, because it is not permissible for a wife to go out of her husband’s home without his permission. 

Moreover, it is permissible for the husband to turn his back to his wife in bed if she is disobedient but he should not prevent her from her right in spending the night with her. Of course, this applies to a disobedient wife, but not with a woman who did not do anything that suggests being disobedient, rather she acted in what was permissible for her to do.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83631 and 82124.

Finally, we advise both of you to take it easy in all your affairs and be wise in solving any problem that may occur in your marital life, far from being stubborn and angry. 

Allaah Knows best.