SALAM.I am in a big confusion and trouble.i love one friend of mine very much.his name is arslan.i wanted to maay him.but due to family problems my parents did my nikah with my cousin.i just have paper relation with my husband.i havent gone to his home yet.he is a nice and caring man. i have tried a lot to love him, but i couldnt.can i take divorce.i dont know what to do.i cant forget my friend.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

It is not permissible for the guardian, whether he is the father or someone else, to force the mature virgin to marry someone she does not like, according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “‘A non-virgin should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.’ They asked, ‘How can she give permission?’ He said, ‘Her silence [implies her consent].’” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Therefore, if she is given in marriage without her consent, she has the right either to continue or to dissolve her marriage. It was narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas that a virgin woman came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and told him that her father gave her in marriage against her will, so the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave her the choice either to continue or dissolve the marriage. [Abu Daawood, Ibn Maajah and An-Nasaa’i]

However, if you are able to continue your marital life and fulfill the rights of your husband, we advise you to accept your parents’ choice. Indeed, parents are usually affectionate with their children and they usually choose what is most suitable for them. Perhaps Allaah will bless your marriage because you pleased your parents. It should be noted that although marital life, in principle, is based on mutual love between the spouses, this does not mean that life is impossible without love. There are other factors which nourish this life and help it survive and continue. One of the beautiful traditions that were narrated on the authority of ‘Umar reads: "Not all homes are built on love, but on honorable lineage and Islam." For further information, see Fatwa 86796.

On the other hand, you must end your relationship with that young man, since it is not permissible for the woman to have an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram man. Perhaps ending this relationship will bring love between you and your cousin. For further information about curing love sickness, see Fatwa 84544.

Finally, if you are not able to continue your marital life and fear that discord might arise between you, you may file your case to an Islamic judge and demand dissolving your marriage. If marriage is dissolved and you wish to get married to the other man and he is religious and of good morals, then try to convince your parents to agree on the second marriage. If they accepted, it would be fine; if they insisted on refusal, obeying them should be given precedence over your marriage to that man. But if you fear temptation, you may file your case to an Islamic judge who will conclude your marriage or authorize someone else to do so should your father be proved to be preventing you from marriage.

Allaah Knows best.