salaam.. i'm a working mother of two happily married to my loving husband. two third of our monthly family expenditure (including car loan) is on me since my salary is more than my husband. i consider this as sadaqah for my husband. does this mean that my husband can regard this as my responsibilities and not trying to earn extra money for that. sometimes i also need to pay for my husband debt. i also need to limit my my expenses for my parent (with my own money)since he did not allow me to because we will have a little shortage of money if i do so. can you please help me with this matter. thank you, salaam

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds.  I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.

Indeed, you did well by helping your husband and spending on the household and you will be rewarded for this, Allaah willing.

Zaynab the wife of 'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood asked the Prophet said, "O Prophet of Allaah, is it permissible and acceptable for me to spend the Zakat (obligatory charity) on my poor husband and the orphans of my brother who are under my protection?” Thereupon, the Prophet said to her: "You will receive a double reward (for that): One for helping relatives and the other for giving Zakat."

However, it is not permissible for your husband to consider this as obligatory on you or that he would oblige you to do so as the wife has an independent monetary liability and it is the husband who is obliged to spend on his wife, children and the household as we clarified in Fataawa 88121 and 31645.

Moreover, you have the right to spend on your parents and this is one of the great acts of righteousness to them, and Allaah The Almighty will compensate you better. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {But whatever thing you spend [in His cause] - He will compensate it; and He is the best of providers.”}[Quran 34:39]

Therefore, it is not permissible for your husband to prevent you from doing so. Thus, we advise both of you to have a mutual understanding on this matter and not let the devil interfere between you because he [the devil] may make this as a reason for separating between you as he is keen on separating loving spouses.

Allaah Knows best.