Arguing with the Husband Fatwa No: 86283
- Fatwa Date:20-9-2003
If one's husband is not very helpful for the wife in all aspects, but is very devoted to his work so much that he ignores children, is it sinful for the wife if she argues about it? Is it sinful to fight with one's husband for the right of his wife?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Each of the husband and the wife has his/her own kind of work to do and responsibilities to shoulder. The husband works outside to earn a living, takes care of his household, and secures protection for them. Allah, The Almighty entrusted the husband with the role of the leader and held him responsible for his household; Allah Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.} [Quran 4:34]
The Prophet said: “All of you are guardians and are responsible for the people under your guardianship: the Imam (Muslim ruler) is a guardian and is responsible for the people under his guardianship, a man is a guardian in his house and is responsible for the people under his guardianship, and a woman is a guardian in her husband’s home and she will be questioned over the people under her guardianship. Indeed, all of you are guardians and are responsible for the people under your guardianship.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Taking care of the household in general is the husband's responsibility. He is to look after his wife and children, and the wife is also to look after her household, raise and educate her children, prepare food, and secure other domestic needs. In case the husband falls short of undertaking his responsibilities, the wife has the full right to advise him and to argue with him leniently. She may seek a third party as a mediator who may admonish him and remind him of his falling short of shouldering his duties, but without pressing him to do that by coercion since it is not his concern (the mediator) to do so.
Exerting pressure on the husband may aggravate the discord between the two spouses, which is contrary to the awaited result.
Allah knows best.