Assalaamu alaykum My husband is of good character generally. However, I believe him to be selfish and feel that he puts his needs before myself and our six-month-old son. He is a busy man who works and studies and as a result has neglected us. His excuse is that he is busy and that I should be understanding and patient. I have been so ever since we got married, as he says that it is only temporary. For example, during Ramadan, I went to my mother's house and stayed there because he says he's too busy to do anything for me in Ramadan, and now he is studying an intensive course to migrate, and he says that he is too busy and cannot do anything for me. It has gotten to the point where I get no money from him, no interaction, etc. This is not what marriage is supposed to be, but he makes excuses and says that I am in the wrong for even complaining. What is your advice? Is he neglecting his obligation towards me?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

If the situation is as you described, then your husband is negligent in fulfilling your rights and the rights of his son over him. It is his duty to provide for you and for his son and to live with you in kindness. He should balance between his duties towards his family and the requirements of his studies and work.

Salmaan Al-Faarisi said to Abu Ad-Dardaa', may Allah be pleased with both of them, "Your self has a right over you, your Lord has a right over you, your guest has a right over you, and your family has a right over you, so give each their due right." They went to the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and mentioned this to him, so he said, "Salmaan has spoken the truth." [Al-Bukhaari]

Our advice to you is to be patient with your husband and find excuses for him to the best of your ability, along with reminding him of his duties towards his family, especially his wife's right upon him. Please, refer to fatwa 125242.

Allah knows best.