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Her husband disposes of her money without her permission

Question

Respected scholer, Could you please answer my quietion?JASAKKALLAHU HAIRA When i marry my husband my parents gave us house ,a shop and paddy field the house is rented and we get money from that but my husbund handling all the money matters.If i want to give my parents any small gifts he get angry and he want to give his family too.how can i tell this to my parents even some times insulting me in front of people and insulting my family. I have 3 children i have been patient with him i wanted to talk to my parents about my husband i dont have any support in the foriegn country .What is your advise for me regading this can i talk the problem with my 16 year old son?if i patien with him will ALLAH reward me in aahira?IF i dont like his behavior in this life what will happen in the aakira?May ALLAH reward u. I have many kalla prayers but i have repent to allah now i am praying correctly when i repent i thougt i can do kalla but it is hard because i am praying sunnah too, but i intented to make kalla regarding this i was like made a promise to allah so do i have to fast for 3 days what i have to do? is not enough to pray sunnah only becaause allah tells his angels to see any sunnah if his servent did not pray properly?Please give some advise jazakkallah hairan

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If your father had given you these things as a valid gift, in a way that you possessed them and you disposed of them as if you were the owner, and he did not favour you over your brothers and sisters, then you became the owner of these things. In any case, whether you are the owner of these things or it is your father who owns them; your husband has no right to dispose of them except with the permission of the owner and within the limits set by him (the owner). Moreover, he has no right to become angry when you want to buy a gift for your parents. He is also not permitted to buy anything for his family with your money without your permission unless he takes wages for managing you money and he buys from them.

However, we advise you not to hasten to inform your father as this might worsen the situation and may lead to divorce. Also, you should not inform your son, as he might not behave in a good way and divulge the news and then your husband would become angry because of it. Therefore, we advise you to admonish your husband in a soft and gentle manner and try to reach a solution with him. Also, you should not forget to supplicate Allaah as much as possible to guide him.

On the other hand, if a person is patient, then this will be good for him in the Hereafter on the Day of Judgment. If you are patient with your husband, Allaah will greatly reward you; Allaah Says (what means): {Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account [i.e. limit]} [Quran 39:10]

For more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fataawa 83577 and 85445.

Indeed, you did well by repenting to Allaah for being neglectful about the prayer, so you should avoid doing that again in the future. Also, you are obliged to make up these prayers according to your ability. If you had made an oath to make them up, then this matter is more confirmed in your regard. Also, if you mean that praying the Sunnah (supererogatory) prayers prevents you from making up for your obligatory prayers, then making up for your obligatory prayers comes in priority over the supererogatory prayers. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 105182.

As regards the supererogatory prayers compensating for the obligatory prayers, then this is for the deficiency in the prayer itself, and it is not meant here the one who completely abandoned the prayer because nothing can replace the obligatory prayer even if it were the supererogatory prayers of this whole world. The deficiency that is meant here is in regard to performing the prayer, i.e. in its humbleness, calmness (staying in each position until the bones are set and still), bowing and prostrating, and so forth.

Allaah Knows best.

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