Home
Discover Islam
Quran Recitations
Lectures
Fatwa
Articles
Fiqh
E-Books
Women
Boys & Girls 
Enter Question
View By Subject
Fatwa Of The Week
Selected Fatwa
Fatwa CenterHis wife is religious, but treats him badly
Question
Respected Sheikh, Assalamu Alaikum, I want to know that how deal a wife who is religious and chaste but proud, careless, disobedient, neglectful and have no attachment towards her husband. She is too much involve in computer and internet that now husband is feeling that she has no interest with him and hurts him a lot and now husband is facing depression but the wife is not ready to change herself even don’t understand the problem of her husband. She has no objection on her husband 2nd marriage but husband can’t afford two wives. On minor issues wife says I am trying my best to keep you happy if you are not than divorce me I only marry to you for the sake of Allah. Sheikh is this right way to deal with husband? Can the husband has right to stop her wife for using internet. Can I divorce her? Sheikh what I want to share with you is that I found in my country Pakistan usually religious girls are so proud, loud and neglectful towards their husband I request you please through a light on this also. May Allah reward you.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Allaah made it an obligation on the wife to obey her husband in whatever he orders her to do or not to do as long as this is in conformity with the Sharee’ah.
Allaah also obliged the wife to carry out her obligations towards her husband, her home and her children. She is also a guardian and she will be questioned over the people under her guardianship. The Prophet said: “Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for the people under his guardianship: the Imaam (Muslim ruler) is a guardian and is responsible for the people under his guardianship, a man is a guardian in his house and is responsible for the people under his guardianship, and a woman is a guardian in her husband’s home and she will be questioned over the people under her guardianship.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
If a woman is religious, then it is more appropriate for her to fulfill such obligations and not raise her voice over her husband; she should be humble with him and with other people. For more benefit on the rights of spouses towards each other, please refer to Fataawa 85167 and 85308.
Therefore, if your wife treats you the way you mentioned, then there is no doubt that she is wrong, so she is obliged to fear Allaah and obey her husband and she should fulfill her obligations towards him. If she had married her husband for the sake of Allaah, then why is she negligent over what Allaah obliged her to do towards him?
However, in your statement about your wife, there are some contradictions because how can you describe your wife to be religious while you say that she is proud, careless, disobedient, neglectful and has no attachment to her husband? Allaah Says about religious women (what means): {So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allaah would like them to guard.}[Quran 4:34]
As regards divorce, it is permissible for you to divorce her but you should not hasten to do so; rather, you should follow the steps of treating a disobedient wife which we clarified in Fatwa 85402. Then, if she does not rectify herself, you may divorce her.
Furthermore, a husband is not permitted to prevent his wife from using the internet unless it preoccupies her from fulfilling her obligations towards her home and her husband.
Finally, we advise you to be wise in correcting her mistakes. You should look for the reasons which caused your wife to be like this. Her conduct might be somehow a reaction to your mistreatment to her. Besides, you should not make yourself a watcher over righteous women and judge them to be generally proud, raising their voice over their husbands and neglectful towards them, as this is a contradiction on one hand, and on the other hand, it is better for a person to abandon that which does not concern him. Indeed, the Prophet spoke well when he said: “Among the good traits of a Muslim, is abandoning what does not concern him.” [Ahmad]
Allaah Knows best.
Search Fatwa
Fatwa Subject
