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Informed her husband about a relation she had before embracing Islam

Question

AsSalamu alaikum,my Question ist urgent. I`m a convert muslima,alhamdulilah practicing. i am europian and my husband is from Saudi. I left my country for Allah and now I live with him in Saudi.when i met my husband i told him i had a relation in my jaahiliya.he accepted.When he asked me about my jahilya i lied.I didnt tell him the truth.one shaikh told me,that i dont need to answer about question from my past,because Allah ta`ala forgave me inshaAllah my sins from my past,becoz i entered islam.my husband was asking me what i did with my boyfriend and i told him,coz he started to force me to do so.Later when this shaikh said,i can lie just to not make problems,coz my husband wanted to divorce me,so to not let shaytan between us and bring us together he said i am allowed to lie.so i lied.No he has problems, coz he is saying how you said first he touched you and so on, and than later you said no he didnt. Right now i lied, and i made the problem bigger than it is. May Allah forgive me if i did something wrong. I Love my deen, i fear Allah and i am afraid to loose my husband,i love my husband and i am 2 monath pregnant now. Please can you answer my question. Please i ask you to make dua for me. Ask Allah for me my brother. I want to stay with my husband. What can i do now, to make the problems less, i dont want to loose my husband JazakAllahu khair

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we thank and praise Allaah Who guided you to Islam and we ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until the Day you meet Him.

Dear sister, we advise you to seek beneficial knowledge, perform good deeds and befriend righteous and pious women, as these are the best things that help a Muslim remain steadfast on his/her religion.

Your husband should not have asked you about your past or tried to reveal what Allaah has concealed for you. However, you were wrong for informing him about what happened between you and that man, and also you were wrong for contradicting yourself.

Therefore, what we advise you to do now is to remind your husband that the past is over and that Islam wipes out previous sins, and that whoever embraces Islam and becomes a good Muslim, Allaah turns his/her sins that he/she committed in Jaahiliyyah [i.e. before Islam] into good deeds as Allaah Says (what means): {Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allaah will replace their evil deeds with good.} [Quran 25:70]

Hence, he should look to the future and forget the past, and be keen on doing anything that brings affection and leads to better marital relationship and not do what would cause dissension and the breaking up of the family.

You should clarify to your husband that you read in some Fataawa that it is not permissible for either spouses to inform the other about what he/she did in the past and that none of them has the right to ask the other about this in principle, and you may show him some Fataawa in this regard like Fataawa 84052 and 83259.

Finally, you should be wise in dealing with him and ask Allaah to enable him to regain his senses and reason.

Allaah Knows best.

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