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Fatwa CenterHow to perform Istikhaarah and how to supplicate to Allaah
Question
assalamu alaikum va rahmathullahi va barakathuhu my family was arranging marriage with my cousin who wass not pious so i prayed isthikara that oh allah give him not to me but everything went opposite to my dua.so i started accepting it and started making dua to allah everytime that oh allah make my cousin pious and give him to me in whatever way you wish.this was my dua. ten what happened everything started goingh apart. i got confused so i ppraye disthikhara a again and asked oh allah giuve him to me as he is a chaste and well mannered one. after that my aunty told clearly that they will marry their son after five to six years only and she told some words in genereal which showed that she will dominant over her daughter in law. so my mother told if they assk you in marriage also we will not give you. my question is that does allah is showing me that he is not good to me and i should stop my dua or can i continue with my dua that oh allah make my cousin pious and give him to me in whatever weay you wish. what i have to do now. i like to continue my dua but i feel allah is showing signs that i should stop my dua. what i have to do now please tell me. may allah reward you all for the wonderful work you are doing..... jazakhallah khairan katheera..
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Islamically, if a Muslim wants to undertake a particular matter that is permissible, he should perform Istikhaarah (guidance prayer). In fact, Istikhaarah is to put the matter in the Hands of Allaah The Almighty so that He will choose for His Slave what is better for him, as it is Allaah The Almighty Who knows the outcome of the matters and He is Omnipotent over everything. This meaning is indeed clear from the wording of the Istikhaarah. Thus, a Muslim should not determine in his supplication a specific choice, otherwise, this cannot be considered an Istikhaarah but just a supplication.
Secondly, the result of the Istikhaarah is not necessarily that a person sees something (in his dream), but the most important result of the Istikhaarah is whether a person is enabled to do a given matter or not.
For more benefit on how to perform Istikhaarah and its result, please refer to Fataawa 81434 and 82964.
Thirdly, if this young man is not religious and does not have good morals, then you should not perform Istikhaarah to marry him; Istikhaarah should only be performed for permissible matters but not for what is forbidden or disliked; this is clarified in Fatwa 88646.
Fourthly, it is permissible to supplicate with this condition: “O Allaah make my cousin a religious man and bless me with him in the manner that You are pleased with.”
However, it appears from the words of his mother – i.e., your aunt – that problems might result from this marriage, so we fear that this would lead to the cutting of ties of kinship. Therefore, it is better for you to absolutely forget him and look for another man to marry.
Indeed, it is permissible for a woman to look for a pious husband provided that she observes the Islamic etiquettes in doing so.
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82471.
And Allaah Knows best.
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