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Fatwa CenterThis issue should not affect a woman’s love for her husband
Question
I live with my husband in a European country and we performed Hajj last year. During the Hajj journey, we passed by our country and visited my family. Now my brother is going to marry, and I want to attend his wedding, for he is my first brother to marry. However, my husband refuses under the pretext that I already visited my family during the Hajj journey and that travel expenses are high. Please note that he is well off.
I feel that I am losing my love for my husband because of this stance.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
The marital relationship should be based on love, cordiality and mutual understanding, as Allaah The Almighty directs the spouses to consult each other even regarding weaning their baby. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And if they both desire weaning through mutual consent from both of them and consultation, there is no blame upon either of them.} [Quran 2:233]
Then, what about the more important issues?
Compliance with this Divine injunction in everything strengthens the foundations of matrimonial life.
Travel is a serious issue that requires consideration and deliberation due to the hardship, costs and dangers it involves, especially if it would upset your marital life.
The honorable questioner mentions that her husband allowed her to visit her family last year and that they have performed Hajj. No doubt, this may have affected your husband's finances even if he is well off. You are the closest person to him and therefore you should excuse him and even seek the best excuses for him.
Besides, you should know that the husband is not required under Sharee'ah (Islamic law) to bear the costs of his wife's Hajj; however, if he does so voluntarily, then we ask Allaah The Almighty to reward him in the best way.
In short, the questioner should give these matters careful thought and then deal with her husband based on the conclusions. This is because she is the best one to understand her husband’s stance and she can convince him to do what is beneficial for her and the children. Nonetheless, if the husband insists on his decision, then this does not justify the wife hating him or being negligent of his rights upon her.
Allaah Knows best.
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