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Fatwa CenterHusband prevents her from visiting Christian parents often
Question
My husband doesn't want our newborn son and I to visit my parents more that twice a month because they are Christian (I converted years before meeting my husband) even though it is harming my relationship with them and is preventing our son from developing a relationship with them. He also makes it difficult for us to see them twice a month. He also doesn't like them to come to our house to visit us. My husband gets upset when we see them even for a short visit. My mother is terribly sad now because she can't have time with her only grandchild and my father is beginning to distrust and even hate my husband because my father suspects that he is trying to control me in a negative way. This is beginning to cause a rift between my family and I, and I now find myself lying or making excuses to my parents to cover for why I can't see them just so they don't begin to hate my husband. Does my husband have the right to prevent us from seeing my parents just because they are Christian even though they have been respectful of our religion and have never tried to force their religion on us and have pledged to honor our wishes in regards to them teaching or exposing our son to Christianity?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we would like to congratulate you on the blessing of embracing Islam, and we ask Allaah to bless your parents with guidance and open their hearts up to Islam, and this is not difficult for Allaah. We advise you to supplicate Allaah for them, to be keen on being dutiful and kind towards them, and to demonstrate the merits and virtues of Islam in your conduct and interactions with them.
If your husband does not fear harm for you and your child when you visit them, then you should try to convince him in a kind manner to allow you to visit them more than you do now, provided that this does not cause you to neglect the fulfilment of the rights of your husband or child.
However, if he fears that such visits would incur harm on you and your child, then a good husband is the one who is keen on protecting his family. He is commended for that, not dispraised. The husband is ordered to protect the religiosity of his wife and children and guard them against Fitnah (trials of faith). Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.} [Quran 66:6]
Still, you can call your parents frequently and ask how they are doing, send them gifts, and the like of what constitutes maintaining the ties of kinship according to common practice.
Finally, we hope that you can reach a mutual understanding and establish mutual respect, as this would be in your best interest. Beware of letting the devil take advantage of your disagreement to ruin your marriage. If dispute and divorce take place, the first one harmed is the child.
Allaah Knows best.
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