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Marriage: by choice or by fate?


My question is regarding marriage. I have been trying figure out whether the individual one marries is by choice (Ikhtiyar) or by fate (Naseeb). If it is choice then why is it that two people who truly love each other never marry? If it is fate, then why would God allow a woman to marry a physically or mentally abusive husband?


Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Marriage or anything else in this life occurs only according to Divine Decree. It does not mean that a person has no will of his own. In fact, human beings have their own willpower and based on that they choose what they desire. However, their will is subject to the will of Allah and His Decision. Allah does not force any one on a matter but it is also true that no one can act contrary to Allah’s Decision. This rule applies to marriage and all the other matters. The person carries it out with his free choice and it is also from the Divine Decree of Allah. Know that what Allah has decided and decreed cannot be known before its occurrence; it is only known after the incident.

Therefore, not getting married to one’s truly beloved person or marrying an abusive husband is due to one’s will. It is also from the Divine Decree of Allah.

In brief, all that happens is due to the Divine Decree of Allah but Allah has made means and causes for any action; human beings choose the reason through their own will and get the result accordingly.

We ask Allah to grant you goodness, and well-being.

Allah knows best.

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