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Fatwa CenterHer husband has diabetes and impotent
Question
My husband of about 13 years suffers from diabetes and an erection problem.
We have not had sex in about 5 years because every time he tried he could not because cannot have an erection. Also he has all these anger every time when I said to him look I am your wife. He thinks I don't have a problem but I have because I am a human being. So I would like to know what our religion says about this problem.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
A husband should fulfill his duty towards his wife and fulfill her rights.
Thirmidhi reported that Aisha may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "the best to wives are indeed best amongst yourselves, and I am the best to my wife in comparison to you." Thirmidhi classified this Hadith to be sound, Gharib and Sahih.
It is also said that it is only a good-natured person who is kind to his wife, and it is only a wicked person who offends his wife.
It is your right to ask your husband to seek treatment for himself. If he refuses to do so and you are harmed by staying with him, so in this case you can ask him to divorce you in return for what you agree between yourselves.
This is what the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) advised the wife of Thabit Ibn Qays to do so. The Hadith is reported by Bukhari and narrated by Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and with his father, who said: " 'The wife of Thabit Ibn Qays came to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) and said: "O, Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), I do not blame him for his conduct or religion, but I fear to apostate from Islam (because of my uneasiness with him)." So the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) told her: "Can you give him back the garden he offered you as a dowry in exchange for the divorce." She replied: 'Yes'. Then the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) told Thabit, "Accept the garden and divorce her."
Therefore, if a woman asks her husband to divorce her due to not liking him, she is not sinful by doing so, especially if she fears not to fulfill his right. The order of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) for Thabit is an order of guidance and not an obligation.
As regards the ruling about the sexual impotence that abrogates the marriage contract without giving any money for the husband to divorce you, then if he is totally impotent, this nullifies the marriage, but if he is sexually impotent only sometimes, then this does not nullify the marriage.
Ibn Qudama said in Al-Mughni: "Most of the people of knowledge say: "When a husband has sexual intercourse with his wife once, then the latter claims that he is impotent, her claim is not heard, and no time duration is set for him.
Among these scholars are: Ata, Tauss, al Hasan, Yahiya Al-Ansari, Al-Zuhri, Amr Ibn Dinar, Qatada, Ibn Hashim, Malik , al Awzai, al Shafii, Ishaq, Abu Obaid, and the people of opinion.
Besides, Abu Al-Thawr said: "If the husband is unable to have sexual intercourse with his wife, then a period of time has to be set, because he is sexually impotent, then her right will be confirmed as in the case where the sexual organ of the husband is amputated after marriage.
However, the amputation of the husband's sexual organ means that he is impotent, and there is a difference in ruling about having ones sexual organ amputated and being sexually impotent.
Allah knows best.
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