May Allaah reward you for the efforts putting in by you to guide the Ummah. I've been passing through a painful life with my wife; she never regarded me, she has been so stubborn and non-compromising. To address her attitude I used all the possible means in Sharee'ah but in vane. During this period I uttered once Word Divorce and later we lived 6 months together. 1'm half year back we separated, I told her that I will divorce her. Later I wrote on paper DIVORCE two times with out witness and sent by post to her. She knew that I will send such paper to her so she did not received it and it reverted to me.
Some of Mullah told her that divorce is happened and she spends her Iddah. Later when I heard it I prepared court document and got signed by witnesses. But never delivered to her this paper too, this time I wanted to break this relation and got court paper.
I did not uttered Divorce to her more than one time and later never conveyed to her that you are divorced, But this all happened and all family member got impression that we are divorced.
My Question is: Is divorce happened? Or do I need to send her paper or need to utter her words Talaaq. Or do I have chance to bring her back?
Please guide me thru Quran and Hadeeth to clear my confusion.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Writing the word divorce is not considered a divorce unless one has the intention of initiating a divorce when writing it, or if one utters the word divorce when writing it. So if you had intended to divorce your wife when you wrote the letter then divorce took effect whether or not your wife has received it, and whether or not there were witnesses to the writing. It appears from your writing 'I wanted to break this relation' that you intended divorce when you wrote the word.
If a husband divorces his wife three times then this is an irrevocable divorce and he can not take her back unless she marries another man who consummates the marriage with her and then divorces her or dies. Allaah Says (which means): {And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. Then, if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allaah.}[Quran 2:230].
Finally, the following matters should be mentioned:
1- Saying 'I wrote divorce twice' if you mean in two different letters, then this is considered as two divorces if you intended divorce when writing the word divorce. However, if you wrote in one letter 'you are divorced, you are divorced' and you did not intend only to stress the fist divorce [i.e. you intended to initiate a separate divorce with each one] then this is considered as two divorces according to the majority of the scholars. Adding this to the first divorce, it is considered as three divorces. However, some other scholars are of the view that repeating the word divorce twice or three times with one expression or in one setting, is only considered as one divorce.
2- The husband and wife should be keen on keeping the stability of marital life and not take divorce as a solution unless as the last resort. Please refer to Fatwa 89430 on how to treat a disobedient wife.
3- It is more appropriate in such matters to resort to an Islamic court as the issue of divorce is a very complex one and it might be that further explanations are needed, so a mere Fatwa in not enough.
Allaah Knows best.
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