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Fatwa CenterSaid to his wife, If the disputes continue between us we'll be divorced
Question
Salaam alay kum, Thank you very much for answering my question about divorce recently. I have one more question and was hoping you can please answer this: While discussing the marital problems with one's wife (while not having any intention of issuing a divorce whatsoever) a man says to his wife words like "we have to stop fighting and solve our problems. If we continue to have fights and problems like this then we will end up divorced (or he might have said - If we continue to have fights and problems like this then we will be divorced " The last sentence if uttered alone can be taken as a statement of conditional divorce if taken out of context. In this case husband never even thought of issuing a conditional divorce and was rather simply discussing the problems with his wife that we must control our disputes otherwise we will end up getting a divorce in future etc. So will the above statements be considered as a statement of conditional divorce even though it was not meant to be as one and was not even said in the context of conditional divorce? He did not intended a conditional divorce by it and this happened by mistake and unitentionally without realizing that it can be treated as condtional divorce by ulema. Also, can you please advice me on how to deal with the anxiety that I face when I read different contradicting opinions on this matter. One scholar might say there is no divorce while the other says your divorce has taken place. It is very disturbing and stressful for me lately due to this problem. Jazzak Allah.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
If a husband says to his wife ''If the disputes continue between us, then we will end up with divorce, or we will be divorced.'', this is not a conditional divorce with the meaning that the jurists 
stated, where divorce takes place with the occurrence of the condition upon which it was conditioned. Therefore, such terms do not have any effect on marriage. Moreover, no ruling is based on the intention of divorcing in the future.
Hence, we advise you and your wife to avoid the reasons of disputes, and be wise and rational when problems occur. In general divorce is not always a solution; rather it leads, in general, to many disadvantages. Therefore, one should avoid using the words of divorce as a means of solving such problems. Moreover, one should avoid whispers in regard to divorce, and in principle the wife remains married to her husband and is not divorced unless one is certain that what the husband said is considered as divorce.
For more benefit on the Sunni divorce and how to initiate a correct religious divorce, please refer to Fataawa 85415 and 82735.
As regards to the best solution in regard to the contradicting Fataawa of the scholars then one should ask a trustworthy and knowledgeable scholar whom one trusts and then act upon his Fatwa, and not ask one scholar after the other as this may lead him to much stress and confusion.
Allaah Knows best.
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