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Fatwa CenterHer husband does not like her to help her parents financially
Question
Assalamu Alaikum Mr. Burhan, This is VERY URGENT. Please reply as soon as possible. I live with my husband, and I work in a law firm. My husband believes tha money is everything and only then comes anything else in this world. There are two problems: 1 - I earn 4000 Dhs, but I did not tell him that. I said I earn only 3000, so that I can send more money to my parents in India, and help my siblings who are under financial problems right now. My husband do not like me helping them freely, but for me RELATIONS are more important tnan money. My husband tells me to send very less money to my parents..but they have looked after us for all these years, and now when they really need us, we are abroad. So we should atleast send them money to meet their necessities, right? My parents mean my LIFE to me. Thats why I lie ti him so that I can help. I dont take even a Dirham from my salary for my lavishes..I spend every penny in a halal way. Am I wrong here? In Islam, a woman has her right on her money, am I right? So I give him 3000 every month and the rest I use for the above said purposes.Do I not have the right on the money I earn by my hard work? Does he have the right to divorce me based on this problem? Is this didobeying husband? Please tell me...I am waiting EAGERLY. 2 - My husband believes that a man can beat his wife if she does wrong. When I said him the Hadith of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.S ) about beating wives, he ignores it telling that he has his own rules in life, and do not listen to me. He is very stubborn and does not pray regularly ( ONLY FRIDAY PRAYER ) He tells that Allah knows all his needs and will never disappoint him, so there is no need of praying. Surprisingly, God gives him everything too. So I tell him that ALLAH does not like hearing the prayers of those who dont pray to him regularly, thats why He answers you very fast, because He dont like to hear such people's voice... Please help me AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
We have already clarified in previous Fataawa that the wife's salary [money] is her own right and she is fully free to deal with it the way she likes in permissible fields, and her husband is not allowed to prevent her from doing so. If she spends her money in permissible ways and her husband objects to it, and she disobeys him in this, she is not considered disobedient. Furthermore, the wife is not obliged to inform her husband about the amount of money she really owns, but she is not permitted to lie about it, rather she may use Tawriyah when needed (saying something which has more than one meaning and intending a meaning different from what the listener is likely to understand). For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86272 and 86496.
However, such a matter should not be a matter of dispute between the spouses, as marital life is more important to be spoilt because of money.
As regards the husband beating his wife, then in principle this is forbidden; it is only Islamically permissible in very limited cases and provided that some requirements are met. These requirements are clarified in Fatwa 85402.
Moreover, a Muslim should live according to the Law and Orders of Allaah and he should not follow his desires.
With regard to the prayer, it is an obligation on every adult and sane Muslim, and it [the prayer] was not ordained for a Muslim to ask for his needs, and when his needs are fulfilled he abandons it. This is something that no Muslim advocates, rather when a Muslim is blessed by some bounties, he should be grateful and thankful to Allaah. Among the signs proving one to be grateful to Allaah, is that he should observe the prayer and other religious obligations which Allaah ordained us to do.
However, if Allaah blesses a person with bounties while he persists in sin and commits acts of disobedience, then this means that Allaah is progressively leading him to destruction. The Prophet said: “If you see that Allaah blesses one of His Slaves with what he (the slave) likes though he is disobedient, then you should know that Allaah is progressively leading him to destruction.”; which means that this blessing is a test for him and Allaah may punish him afterwards.
Nevertheless, if it is true that your husband abandons the prayer and commits other prohibitions, then he is negligent. Therefore, we advise you to be patient with him and try to advise him in light of the above.
Finally, you should not forget to earnestly supplicate Allaah to guide him. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86012 and 89973.
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