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Fatwa CenterHis parents refuse his marriage to a divorced woman who is older than him
Question
Dear Respected Sir, I am a 29 year old male who is in the higher education profession. for the past many months i have been seriously considering marriage and have singled out a fellow worker whose habits and character and Devotion to religion i really like. many times she has guided me on religious ways as well which i sincerely liked and appreciated. The problem is that my parents are putting a lot of resistance because they say- Firstly she is 2 years elder to me, and secondly she is a divorcee. personally to me both of these things are no issue but to my parents they are a big issue. From inside i feel that i have a better chance of having a comfortable life with her as i have observed her a lot and also got to know her character. From my parents side they present arguments that she will get old soon and not look attractive, that she will not be able to have children as she is in 30's etc etc. Also what specifically does Islam tells us to look for in a girl for marriage- is it her age? character? or some other factor.. Waiting for your reply
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
We have already clarified in Fatwa 90797 the criteria for choosing a wife in Islam, the most important of which is her religion as highlighted by the Prophet . In addition to this, if she is virgin and she is from an honourable and descent family lineage and so forth, then this is even better.
However, if a woman is religious and has a good moral conduct, then the parents of the man (who wants to propose to her) should not refuse her just because she is divorced and the like, or because of her being older than him; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83142.
Therefore, we advise you to try to convince your parents to accept your marriage to her. First of all, you should seek the help of Allaah, and then the help of whomever can influence them. If they are convinced, then this is what is required, otherwise you are obliged to obey them because it is an obligation to obey the parents whereas you are not obliged to marry this specific woman. Moreover, it might be that your parents are more informed about her and that they are more experienced in life, so they know better. So, if you obey them, you may achieve marital happiness.
Allaah Knows best.
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