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Steps to be followed to marry a girl

Question

what are the steps to follow when want to get in touch with a girl you desire to marry?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we would start by mentioning to you the qualities of the woman whom you should choose for marriage: she should be a pious woman, that is, a woman who is religious and has good moral conduct.

Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) , said: "A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the religious one, you will prosper." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

So, if you find a woman with these qualities and you ask the trustworthy people who know her about her, then it becomes permissible for you to get engaged to her and to look at her when you get engaged to her. Indeed, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "If one of you proposes to a woman to marry her, then if he can look at what would encourage him to marry her, then he should do so." [Ahmad, Al-Haakim and Abu-Daawood]

The majority of the jurists are of the view that it is permissible for a person who proposes to marry a girl to look at her face and her hands only. However, the Hanbali School of jurisprudence is of the view that it is permissible for him to look at what usually appears from a woman when she does the housework, like her neck, her hands and her feet.

If the engagement takes place and the marriage contract is not yet conducted, then such a woman is considered as a non-Mahram (i.e., marriageable) woman until your marriage contract with her is conducted, but it is permissible to speak to her if there is a necessity for doing so provided that speaking to her is limited to necessity only and without being in seclusion with her or committing other matters that are forbidden in the Sharee’ah. It is within these limits that the contact with the fiancée should be.

Also, a mistake and serious negligence by many Muslims should be mentioned here, which is that they allow the fiancé to be in seclusion with his fiancée, go out with her for entertainment, or even travel with her.

Finally, it should be noted that one should conclude the marriage (contract) as soon as possible as a long period between the engagement and marriage may lead to negative consequences.

Allaah Knows best.

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