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Fatwa CenterShe accuses her father-in-law of hypocrisy
Question
ASAK...my husband is a born muslim but his mother is a non muslim...his father is muslim but is more like a munafiquin...Alhumdullilah my husband has learned islam after marriage and is practicing sunnah in every stage...i dislike my in laws a lot and find it very hard to respect them..they are old and its our duty to take care of them..my husband loves them a lot and doesnt oppose their faith but i find it very difficult to deal with the shirk they follow and all the idol worship they practice at home..i want to keep my children away from this mahool..but i know in islam not respecting parents is also a prime gunaah...what do i do? please please guide..
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that among the characteristics of Eemaan (faith) is to hate what the disbelievers do, like them committing Shirk (associating partners with Allaah), worshipping idols and disobeying Allaah, and hating them due to this. Abu Daawood At-Tayaalisi 
reported that the Prophet said: “The strongest bonds of faith are love for the sake of Allaah and hate for the sake of Allaah.”
Therefore, there is nothing wrong in not loving the non-Muslims. Also, it is not an obligation to respect a non-Muslim, but it is not permissible to mistreat him by words or actions just because he is a non-Muslim.
On the other hand, if you reside together in the same house with your husband's parents, then you have the right to ask your husband to provide you with a separate accommodation and you are not obligated to live with them in the same house regardless of whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims, because the wife has the right upon her husband to provide her with a separate accommodation as we clarified in Fatwa 84608.
Therefore, your husband is obligated to provide you with a separate accommodation according to his ability. In this way it will be possible to protect your children from being affected by their grandparents.
With regard to your husband, he is obligated to hate the Shirk upon which his parents are, but he is also obligated to be kind and dutiful to them as this is their right upon him even if they are non-Muslims. Allaah says (what means): {And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness.} [Quran 31:14-15]
For more benefit in this regard, please refer to Fatwa 87019.
Among the best acts of being kind and dutiful to them is to endeavor to guide them to the Right Path. So, your husband has to supplicate Allaah to guide them to Islam and he should invite them to embrace it. He may make use of the Fataawa which clarify that Islam is the true religion which corresponds to the Fitrah (natural predisposition upon which Allaah created mankind] and which comprehends the benefits of this worldly life and the Hereafter. These Fataawa are as follows: 86091, 88906, 173389, 11506and 85513.
Finally, we draw your attention to the following three matters:
1- Hypocrisy is of two kinds: one is related to belief and one is related to actions. The one related to actions does not take a person out of the fold of Islam, like if a Muslim has the characteristics of lying and betraying the trust and the like. The hypocrisy related to belief is to pretend to be a Muslim [show Islam outwardly] and hiding disbelief [i.e. while a person is not really a Muslim in his heart]. Nonetheless, it is not permissible to accuse a Muslim of hypocrisy without evidence. It seems that your father-in-law although he is affiliated with Islam, he commits Shirk actions. So, if this is the case, it is an obligation to clarify the truth to him but he should not be judged to be a non-Muslim unless after establishing the evidence against him. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fataawa 1854 and 134798.
2- It is not permissible for a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim woman unless she is from the People of the Book (Jews or Christians) as Islam forbade a Muslim from keeping such a woman as a wife. Allaah says (what means): {And hold not to marriage bonds with disbelieving women.} [Quran 60:10]
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87895.
3- Mistreating people other than the parents, though it is impermissible, it is not called undutifulness.
Allaah Knows best.
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