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Fatwa CenterHis daughter insists on marrying an ill-mannered man
Question
As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah. My husband's daughter (my step daughter) wants to marry a man who has anger issues and who is ill mannered. My husband is concerned that he will not make a suitable husband for this reason. Also, his daughter is a virgin, and was raised as a muslim and this young man is not a virgin and has only been a Muslim ( and not always a practicing one) for a couple of years. She wants to marry this young man without her fathers permission, and she is also threatening her father with the act of zina if he doesn't comply. My husband wants to know if he can relinquish his guardianship to one of her other mahrams such as one of her uncles? He fears that he will be held accountable by Allah in this life and the next for marrying her off to such a person. And also, would her marriage be valid if she marries without her fathers consent. We live in a non Muslim country unfortunately so she having to give her parents their rights is limited. JazakaAllah khayr
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His Slave and Messenger.
There is no blame on the Wali (legal guardian) if he refuses a marriage proposal of a suitor whose religiosity or character are unsatisfactory, as Abu Hurayrah 
narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “If someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care of one of) you, then accept his proposal. If you do not do so, then there will be Fitnah (turmoil) in the land and abounding wickedness.” [At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah]
On the other hand, the daughter is obliged to obey her father in this case because this falls in the category of the obligatory obedience in that which is good and permissible. Allaah The Exalted says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.} [Quran 17:23] Moreover, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Obedience is required only in what is good (and permissible).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
A marriage conducted without the bride’s Wali is invalid as underlined in Fatwa 84064. In any case, the father has the right to appoint someone as a Wakeel (representative) to give his daughter in marriage on his behalf. The same essential qualifications and conditions for the Wali also apply to the Wakeel.
If the father fears his daughter falling into the temptation of Zina (fornication) and marries her off to this suitor despite his ill-manners, he bears no sin for that. Weighing benefits and harms is required in such cases as highlighted in Fatwa 89976.
Allaah Knows best.
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