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Supplicating Allaah to get good husband

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. I am sorry for the lengthy question. I am 23 years old and my parents are looking for a suitable groom for me. A fews months ago, they got a proposal for me from a boy whose name is Abdul Subhaan. My parents spoke to his mother and sent her my picture as well as we live in different countries. She saw my picture and spoke to my mother and agreed to this proposal and gave her word (that she will not look for any other girl because she chose me) without either talking to me or meeting me in person. I prayed Istikhaarah (prayer of consultation) many times and came to the following conclusions: 1. The boy's name is wrong according to the Sharia. 2. The boy's mother agreed to the marriage solely based on my picture, without knowing me and my religiousness properly, and a lot of other things came to my mind. So I refused this proposal, and my parents agreed that they will not force me. Now, however, my dad's uncle is forcing my dad to speak to this family again in order to take things further. This uncle never listens to anyone and wants everyone to listen to him whether one likes it or not. I really do not know wat to do. If things do go further, then I might be left with no option but to say agree unwillingly. I recently started following Islam properly, I wasted a lot of my life without practising Islam, so I do not want to go back to my old, bad lifestyle after marriage. I want to remain a good muslim throughout my life. Please help me and advise me; wat should I do, and wat prayers should I make to get a religious life partner?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we thank you for treading the path of righteousness, and we ask Allaah to increase you in guidance, piety, and goodness.

We advise you to supplicate Allaah as much as possible to make you firm on the right path. Also, you should supplicate Him to bless you with a pious husband, but there is no special supplication in this regard. Nonetheless, you may supplicate with general supplications such as the one stated in the hadeeth that was reported by An-Nasaa’i and narrated by Anas ibn Maalik  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him. Anas ibn Maalik reported that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said to his daughter Faatimah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  herWhat prevents you from listening to my advice to you? Say on the onset of every morning and evening, 'Yaa Hayyu ya qayyoom, bi-rahmatika astagheeth, aslih li sha’ni kullahu wa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ayn.' (Which means: O Ever-Living, O Sustainer! In Your Mercy I seek relief; rectify for me all of my affairs and do not leave me to myself, even for the blink of an eye.)

You may also supplicate with the supplication stated in the hadeeth that was narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh from Anas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him in which the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “Allaahumma la sahla illa ma ja’altahu sahlan, wa anta taj'alul-hazna itha shi’ta sahlan. (O Allaah! There is nothing easy except what You make easy, and You make the difficult easy if it be Your will.)”

What is important is that this man who proposed to marry you is religious and has a good moral conduct, because if so, then if he loves his wife, he will honor her; and if he hates her, he will not abuse her.

For more benefit on the qualities of a righteous husband, please refer to fatwa 83767.

Indeed, you did well by performing the Istikhaarah prayer in regard to marrying him or not. If a person performs the Istikhaarah prayer, then he should pursue the matter. The result of the Istikhaarah prayer is that this matter will either be facilitated for him or made difficult for him, as he had put the matter in the Hand of Allaah.

As for the fact that his name includes an Islamic prohibition and that his mother agreed without knowing you, then you should not pay any attention to this.

Moreover, marrying him depends on you only and not on your father or your father's uncle (i.e. it is you who has the right to agree or disagree). So if you are pleased with him, consider him to be suitable as a husband, and you expect that the marital life with him will last, then it is good to inform him that you agree to marry him; otherwise, you should leave him and ask Allaah to bless you with someone else to marry you.

Finally, it should be pointed out that the name Abdus-Subhaan is not permissible because Subhaan is not one of the Names of Allaah. Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said in the dictionary of the forbidden expressions, “Abdus-Subhaan is not permissible because this would mean being a slave to other than (one of the Names of) Allaah, the Almighty.

Allaah knows best.

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