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Troubled relationship with a man

Question

I love a man. This man told me he will come to see my family in the June or July, then I pray and told my God if this man is good making this relation to be continued and if it is not cut this relation. I want to go away from this man but I return back what can I do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Marriage is a serious contract between the two spouses and it is a long lasting difficult task in this life, so one has to be cautious about choosing one's spouse.

Hence, if you wish to marry this man, then you should not accept to marry him until you perform the Istikhaarah prayer, as Allaah is the One Who knows the consequences of everything.

For more benefit on the Istikhaarah prayer, please refer to Fatwa 81434.

Then, you should inquire about him; you should ask your relatives or other people who know him better than you do. If it becomes clear that he is a religious man with a good moral character, then you should accept him as a husband. However, if you discover that he is not religious and does not have a good moral conduct, then there is no good in marrying him, and Allaah may bless you with a better husband.

Allaah Says (what means): {But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allaah knows, while you know not.} [Quran 2:216]

Finally, it should be noted that a woman should not establish an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram (i.e. a marriageable man), as this is a greater cause of leading people to commit adultery or fornication.

Allaah Knows best.

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