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Fatwa CenterHe needs to get married urgently but she does not
Question
May Allaah continue to maintain our chastity. I need your advice over an issue. Over the past week an American female student in my room became very interested in me after I offered her assistance seeing her distressed and crying. I offered her advice out of Quran and Sunnah. However she seems to attempt conversation all the time-at one stage inviting me to her room- I promptly explained the Islamic standpoint on two non-Mahram being alone and she was rather amazed. She became ever more attracted to me. Out of some weakness I found the blood vessels in my brain almost exploding the other night when she came very close to me and just stared in my eyes asking casually how I was. I ran away, afraid of her. I wrote her a note and I got her transferred as I am president of the residents committee.
I feel the need to marry as soon as possible. I am currently in my final year and in 4 months I will finish. There is someone whom I admire with good piety and character, from a good family (I was their neighbor and prayed Salat ul-Fajr with her father), and of great Islamic knowledge, she is a medical student. This girl does not ordinarily speak to boys. Using my contacts in the Islamic association I managed to get hold of her mobile number and phoned her 3 years ago to ask her if she was ready for marriage and if I could bring my parents to her home -her answer was no as she was continuing with her studies. I thought nothing of it and after exactly a year I asked -same reply, and exactly a year after that same reply. Now let me tell you when I spoke over the phone I stuttered, stammered and sounded like an absolute idiot as I do not know how to talk to a girl. Do you suggest that I approach this girl in person? Do you think that I should even approach this girl? I really need to get married urgently. May Allaah continue to elevate and bless you.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We supplicate Allaah to protect you from every evil and grant you steadfastness in your religion.
You have to keep away from any marriageable women particularly the American female student who wants to befriend you. You are not allowed to mix with them or stay alone with them or have any personal relations with them. See our Fatwa: 84281 about mixing with opposite sex and to Fatwa about studying in co-ed university: 87469.
You are not allowed to contact any girl to know whether she accepts you or not. The proper way to propose to a girl is contacting her guardian, if he accepts your proposal he will marry her off to you. For details read Fataawa: 84875 and 90130.
Finally, we advise you to supplicate Allaah to grant you a religious girl and seek the help of pious people in this matter.
Allaah Knows best.
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