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Fatwa CenterTry your best to leave non-Muslim country and to keep your children with you
Question
I am Egyptian Muslim lived in N. America 20-years. I met and married to Egyptian woman about 13-years ago. We have kids 11, 9 and 6 years girl, boy and girl. The marriage was based on love and admiration from both sides. I was not fully obedient to Islam through early part of my life but since I got married I repent all my previous acts to Allaah and comply fully with all roles and terms.
For over 10-years marriage life was wonderful and she was fully true partner in all shape and form and perfect mother as Islam guide us. However, she started to seek work and once she became a full-time professional in her career she became a totally different person. She lost her identity as well as her Islam roles and guides in regards to marriage life, husband and children. She further showed sever interests to a non-Sunni Muslim co-worker that led her to fall into the forbidden. No witness or have not seen her in action as per Islam guides for Heed to be implemented but as husband, I have heard and saw what would not leave me with any doubts of such big sin. She even on several occasions admitted and did not deny that sin.
Divorce decree was entered here based on civil court. She refused to co-operate in conducting the Islam divorce. I divorced her (absent) so I could clear myself from her. The divorce settlement stated all issues pertaining the child custody and support. I could not due to local law be able to have full custody of the children. I did everything I can but she completely destroy me financially since she had more income and ability to get help as women married to Muslim Middle Eastern man as excuse for her to get out of this marriage.
Her family in Egypt was in the beginning supportive of my direction but after divorce occurred which they were never excepted since they thought I love her and the kids to the point that I forgive her and continue life now or in the near future as. I had to mention that she was planning for the divorce with her mother and her co-worker two years ago. She was just waiting till she gets her medical license and settled in her job before she starts seeking divorce.
Now, she is seeking a full custody of the children even though we have a share parental responsibility. She is also seeking court order to prevent the kids from traveling outside the country claiming that I am planning to kidnap them. She is doing so to get back at me after I divorced her (Egypt) and also got some idea that I may work in the Middle East and get married again and leave the kids to her so her plans to live with the other person and work together would be destroyed.
I am not taken her in my account any longer my concerns and only concerns is my children well being. Financially I am not capable to face her in court but I feel strongly that I cannot leave my kids to such mother who gives up every principle and believes in life, cultural and Islam to go after her personal needs with another man.
Even in according to Sharee'ah she should not be in contact with the children at all and forbidden from any decision in their regard.
Her family now only concerns with whatever financial gain they could get from the marriage and the divorce. They seem less concern with the kids and their well being as long as there is enough wealth she or her new man in her life will provide. Not to mentioned that she made that man to divorce his wife and let his two kids with after 20-years of marriage.
Now what can and should do? I need to be able to live a part from all problems she is creating every day to me. If I leave the kids with her and go abroad to work for some time. May be she will focus on them and with time she will calm down and life will go on. But I am concerns about the children and their well being once I leave. On the other hand if I stay and face all of these problems, I will have no life to progress and will always in financial dilemma and with time I will be destroyed and cannot help myself or the kids. What should I do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We have already answered your previous questions in which we have stated thoroughly the Islamic rulings of the problems you have mentioned in your question. See Fataawa: 89520 and 90109.
Once again we confirm that you have to try your best to solve the problem Islamicly, ask some pious influential people to advise your wife to follow the Islamic rulings and get out of her sinful life.
If she does not accept then try your best to keep the children with you. It is strongly advised to leave the non-Muslim country by any means, as soon as possible, to protect your religion and the religion of your children as well.
Allaah Knows best.
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