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Fatwa CenterFather is unjust between his wives
Question
My dad has more than 1 wives this usually was not a problem as we used to work together as a big family however recently he has a married a younger wife which is younger than his 2nd wife, that is not a problem to me as I respect my dad and I believe that he knows what he is doing. There has been a lot of argument's that has broken the family up. These days he doesn't acknowledge us as much as we need him. He does everything for the new one. She recently had a new house, my dad put all his efforts into that house he called all the boys and they worked day and night clean and decorating the house she (the new wife) was in my auntie's house watching TV while my auntie was cleaning her new house for her, she didn't even bother making food for the people that were decorating her house. I don't hate her I just feel that she is embarrassing my father as he is old, has high blood pressure and he put all his money and his effort in to her and he hasn't benefited anything. He has never in his life made a wedding that he done for her, he hadn't put so much money into a woman except for her and she is just using him. I have been told that a husband who has more than one wife has to treat them equally and a wife should acknowledge that her husband is not married to only her and shouldn't keep her to herself if that is right what my dad is doing is wrong but she had to guide him and remind him that he has an old father, mother, 3 other wives, sisters and brothers and 23 children who need his attention and love. If he is ignoring us are we allowed to trouble him and yell at him or should we treat him with respect as we used to? Are his wives allowed to yell at him? If he is not allowing a thing to 1 wife shouldn't he not allow it to another? Shouldn't he respect the oldest wife more? Shouldn't she be more motherly instead of using us? Don't his children have rights on him? Shouldn't the oldest wife be aided by her husband as she is old and can't do a lot of stuff?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We have already issued many Fataawa clarifying that a husband should be just between his wives and how he could achieve this, so please refer to Fataawa 82124 and 86094, and Fatwa 86936 on being just between the children.
Anyway, if the father is unjust between his wives or children, it is not permissible for the latter to be undutiful to him, neither by raising their voice on him or do anything worse than that. Allaah Says (which means):{And say not to them [so much as], "uff," (An expression of disapproval or irritation) and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."}[Quran 17: 23-24]. The fact that he is not fulfilling the rights of his wives and children is not an excuse for you to be negligent about his right or be undutiful to him. So you are obliged to be very careful on this because being undutiful to parents is one of the great major sins. Allaah is the Most Just and He will ask you about your father's rights on you and will ask him about your rights on him. Indeed the Prophet 
said: "All of you are guardians and will be questioned about those under your guardianship…," [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
To conclude, there is no harm in advising him in good and soft words and it might be that it is better if you appoint someone who could influence him to do so.
Allaah Knows best.
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