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Fatwa CenterWorried about her life with her husband while loving another man
Question
I was in love with a guy who was unstable and different nationality but my parents emotionally blackmailed me and I got married to a guy of their choice whom I don't like. For their sake I tried to give up my and carry on with my future but on my wedding night I got scared of my husband and after that I told him about my past and since then we don't have any relationship. My husband claims that he loves me which I don't think is true. I asked a Maulavi Sahib for Istikhaarah he said the guy is not good and will leave you someday. I don't know what to do now? I don't have any feelings for him. But neither do I want to hurt my parents. Please help me!!!
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, you should know that a guardian has no right to oblige his virgin daughter who reached the age of puberty to marry someone she does not like. This is the view we adopt according to the opinion of the scholars
. However, if the girl renounces her right and agrees to marry in order to achieve a religious benefit then this is more appropriate. Therefore, you did well by accepting to marry this man in order to please your parents, and we hope that Allaah will bless your marriage to him. You should not take into consideration what that Shaykh told you about him. He is just guessing, and by saying that your husband will leave you he is claiming to know the unseen while he does not know the unseen. Hence, saying so is a kind of fortune-telling and does not have anything to do with Istikhaarah.
Nonetheless, you are wrong in telling your husband about the relationship you had with that man you mentioned in the question. Therefore, you should endeavour to rectify what you ruined, and convince your husband that you will continue your marital life as nothing had happened at all.
As regards your statement that you do not have any feelings towards him, then this does not usually prevent the continuity of the marital life as it should be. "Not all homes are built on love", as 'Umar 
said. Indeed there are many other benefits that could be achieved by marriage.
If we presume that your husband continues not to have any sexual intercourse with you and you fear any harm [of committing adultery], or that you dislike him and fear that you will negligent about his rights on you, then you have the right to ask for divorce even by paying a compensation to your husband. However, we do not think that you should hasten in doing so before balancing between the benefit of staying with him and the benefit of divorce.
Finally, it should be noted that it is not permissible for a woman to establish any affectionate relationship with a marriageable man as this leads to temptation. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86510.
It should also be noted that the Istikhaarah prayer is an act of worship, so no person should perform it on behalf of another.
Allaah Knows best.
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