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Fatwa CenterHer brother-in-law is so rude to her and her children
Question
Assalamu Alaykum , Insha Allah I will try to keep this question on track . I am a revert Alhamdullilah. I'm american and my husband is from Bangladesh . I have one son from before and we have one daughter together . My husbands brother lives across the hall in the ajacent apartment with his wife and 3 boys and one brother . The eldest brother has been so bad with me and my son . He wont let his sons have anything to do with us and has taught his boys to say mean hurtful things to my son . This man has turned my son out on a rainy day after school when I was late from a Dr.'s appt , will walk right past us and not speak , even one time my son had to take a ride home in his car with my husband and my son called me crying saying he would rather walk the 5 or 10 miles home in the rain than take the ride with him . and the man did not have enough manners to even offer my son Salaams . Not to mention that he does drink alcohol and watch terrible movies ( i have seen with my own eyes ) The situation has gotten so bad that I have broke ties with them and forbid my daughter from going there for the fact that they are very unclean and have mice and cockroaches . My husband tells me that this is just the way his brother is that my son and I should not take it personaly . My son has been so emotionaly damaged from the this situation it just kills me inside . I am 37 years old and never in my life have I been treated so bad and what makes it worse is it is by someone who is supose to be family . When my son sees the man he gets scared and nervous and wants to get revenge and I feel the same to some degree .Insha Allah everyone who reads this will make dua for my boy . There are so many other things this man has done to us I cant count it all . Its a hard situation . In the begining we would get together with the sister and the boys when her husband was gone and got on nice enough . except when we werent looking the boys would tel my son how how their dad dont like him. help
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If the situation of your brother in-law is as you mentioned in the question, then he was indeed wrong for committing many prohibitions like drinking intoxicants, watching pornographic films, in addition to neglecting the rights of the people who have rights on him, like his kinship his neighbours and his in-laws, and misbehaving towards them. Therefore, one should kindly advise this man and remind him of Allaah and should be keen to guide him. It might be that he would repent and become righteous. If he still persists on that condition, then one should cut relations with him, as this might deter him. Nonetheless, it should be noted that cutting relations with him or keeping relations with him depends on the expected benefit.
You should know that there are no ties of kinship that you must maintain which connect you or your son with this man. On the other hand, there are ties of kinship between him and your daughter as he is her paternal uncle. However, it is permissible to prevent her from going to her uncle's house if you have a sound reason, like fearing that they would corrupt her and the like, as it is an obligation to protect the children from reasons of corruption, and this is not considered as helping her in severing the ties of kinship.
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