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Fatwa CenterHas to choose between marriage and working to support her parents
Question
Assalam aleykum,jazzakallahu kheiran for the good work.Am a muslimah who has gotten a marriage proposal from a pious guy alhamdulillah who lives in a neighbouring country.I havent told my parents yet because am bothered by something.Am aware of the importance islam puts on being kind and respectful to your parents even in their old age.My parents are old,my dad doesnt have a stable job and besides he ought to retire now,my mum is a house wife and she is sickly and my two older brothers who live abroad arenot doing well financially.I am a graduate and am currently employed but my fiancee prefers that i dont work when we get married inshallah.If i get married and move away and decide not to work in the future will i be abandoning my parents,neglecting my responsibility towards them?Am sure they educated their children in order to be independent and to help them financially,somehow my brothers cant help so am i obliged to work in order to help my parents? If i move away will i be commiting a sin?i really want to go to this country where my fiancee is because its more islamic and i feel i shall be a better muslim inshallah. Please advise me soon,i dont want to delay the wedding.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Getting married and moving to live with the husband is not in itself deserting the woman’s parents if she is keen after that to be kind and dutiful to them and contacts them and helps them according to her ability.
As regards the obligation of a woman to work and help her parents, then if her parents are poor and needy and are unable to earn their living, and they do not have any other person to support them, and she is able to work and earn money, then in this case she is obliged to work and spend on her parents as we clarified in Fatwa 83607.
If a woman gets engaged and her fiancée wants to take her after marriage to his country far from her parents, she may condition in her marriage contract that he should stay with her after marriage (i.e. where she lives), and if he refuses, she may condition that he should spend on them, and if he refuses, it is not permissible for her to leave her poor parents without anyone to support them. In this case she should be patient and Allaah may bless her with a pious husband who resides in the country where her parents reside. Allaah Says (what means): {And whoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out from every difficulty. And He will provide him from sources he never could imagine.}[Quran 65: 2-3]
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