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Married his first wife secretly to avoid angering his parents

Question

The man get merry woman 4 months ago but she is in secret because his parents never accept non arab girl.He had problem to have children so told her that she will stop to be in secret when she get pregnent and then they will tell about this merryd to his parents because he is sure that they accept her.He promisse also and she agree for this that he will get meery sec wife to make his parents happy if after short time she will not be pregnent but after 4 months he got merry whit woman who chose his parents for him.She is younger 15 years then he,he doesnt love her and he did it only to make his parents happy.Till now she is still virgin.He want to be whit his first wife very much because he loves her very much and cant imagine his life whitout her.What he should do now?Sec wife is still virgin,his parents still dont know about 1 wife,he dont want to be whit 2 wife.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

It was an obligation on this young man to convince his parents about marrying the woman whom he wanted to marry if he knew that marrying her without their consent would anger them, and he should not have married her without their consent, because it is an obligation to obey the parents in what is permissible.

As regards marrying her in secret, if by this you mean that man’s keeping the marriage secret from his parents while having fulfilled all the other conditions of a correct marriage which are clarified in Fatwa 83629, then the marriage is valid. However, if what is meant is keeping this marriage secret from the guardian of the girl or that the marriage contract was conducted without his consent, then this marriage is void because it took place without the consent of the guardian.

As regards him marrying a second wife, he should not have married a woman whom he does not like; he could have married a woman whom he likes and who would please his parents. Any way, since he already married her, then love is not a condition for the stability of the marital life as we already explained in Fatwa 90622. Also, the difference of age is not an obstacle for the success of the marriage.

Therefore, this young man should fear Allaah and be just between his two wives as this is an order from Allaah; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82124.

It should be noted that it is not possible to be just between wives in regard to love and affection and the husband is not held accountable for this; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88728.

However, he is obliged to keep his wife chaste according to his ability and her need. Nonetheless, if he cannot stay with her at all, then he should divorce her, because keeping her in this condition is an injustice to her. Allaah Says (what means): {And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [towards one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allaah — then indeed, Allaah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.}[Quran 4:129]

However, if the second wife is religious and has a good moral conduct, then it is better for the husband to keep her and not to divorce her, while trying to be just between his two wives and having marital relationships with them according to what is reasonable. It might be that there is good for him in keeping the second wife; Allaah Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them — perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.}[Quran 4:19]

This young man should inform his parents about his first marriage, and he should seek to please them and be kind and dutiful to them, and he should try to get closer to Allaah and endeavour in performing act of obedience to Him and seek His Help in all his affairs.

Allaah Knows best.

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