my father has abused me sexually when i was a child.will i ever get any justice regarding dat.the memory of those horrible moments almost kills me.i fail to respect him eventhough one has to respect ones parent howsoever he is.but its an injustice on me,i try hard to forget but fail to do so.i face difficulty even in deciding to get married because i feel dirty..i cant even speak about this to mom because i dont want to hurt her.i feel depressed and alone and am facing a difficulty in trusting any man at all.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
If what you mentioned about your father is true that he had abused you sexually, then he had committed a serious crime and he must repent of it. If you have any suspicions against him, then you have to wear Hijab in his presence and avoid being in seclusion with him, for further information, refer to Fatwa 088782.
You should do your best to forget this horrible issue and occupy yourself with performing Thikr, reciting the Quran, accompanying righteous women and other useful activities. This incident should never prevent you from marriage, and if you feel that you need the help of a reliable psychiatrist, then you should get it.
As for your hatred towards your father because of what he had done to you, then you are not sinful because it is a matter of heart and an uncontrollable feeling.
Nevertheless, you should never offend him; otherwise you would be disobedient as one has to be dutiful to his/her parents even if they were wrongdoers. For further information, refer to Fatwa 88120.
Finally, it is impermissible for you to tell your mother or anyone about this incident.
You can search for fatwa through many choices