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Fatwa CenterHer parents are taking advantage of her being employed and unmarried
Question
I am a girl who has been working continuously for four and a half years and my parents take all my money even though they are not in need of it. I have bought a car for my father, furnished most of the house and so many other things and helping with my younger sister school installments. Above all that I pay regular rent and living expenses to them, and I can not feel at ease at home because they always are fighting about money matters. Up to this date I am unable to save any money or get married because they refuse all my suitors. I feel this is injustice. My new job that I am currently working in is ready to offer me a free accommodation that is near to work and fully paid. However my parents threaten that if I leave the house they will denounce me and never talk to me again. I am getting old and I need to save some money for the future and try to live a peaceful life. I have tried asking them to not pay rent to them since my father doesn't pay rent but they told me if i will not pay then no need to stay in the house. If I moved out of the house would I be doing a bad deed because my parents will not talk to me again?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
It is not permissible for the father to take from the money of his son/daughter except with conditions. Scholars listed these conditions which include the father being in need of the money and his taking an amount that does not harm his son/daughter. Therefore, if what you mentioned about your parents is true that they take all your money while they do not need it, they have done wrong. The matter worsens if they quarrel with you over the money. However, we advise you to be patient with them and to try to be gentle with them and to use wisdom in dealing with any problem you may face with them.
On the other hand, the matrimonial guardian is not allowed to reject appropriate suitors. It was authentically narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "When a man with whose religion and character you are satisfied proposes to you, let him marry; otherwise, there will be temptation and great corruption on earth." [At-Tirmithi] If the matrimonial guardian frequently rejects the suitors without justification, the girl will be entitled to take her case to the Islamic judge or whoever acts on his behalf to conclude her marriage or authorize someone to do so. For further information, see Fatwa 83394.
Besides, it is disliked that a woman lives alone in an independent house even when she is safe from temptation, and it becomes prohibited when she actually fears temptation. For further information, see Fatwa 120947. Since your parents do not accept your idea to live alone, we advise you to obey them, be patient with them and remain with them in the house. Try to convince them to let you contribute to the house rent an amount which is not unfair to you, making your intention to gain the pleasure of your parents.
Also, you should know that marriage may be the best solution to your problem, so try your best to get married and there is no blame on you if you look for a righteous man to be your husband as previously clarified in Fatwa 82471.
Finally, we advise you to supplicate Allaah to correct the affairs of your parents. You have to be dutiful and kind to them, since this is the parents' right over their children even if the parents wronged them. For further benefit, see Fataawa 85652 and 87019.
Allaah Knows best.
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