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Mistreated by Her Parents and Her Brother

Question

Assalamu alaykum,I am tired of my father deceiving me and my mother using Islam as a weapon to abuse me mercilessly. My younger brother strangled me yesterday with his legs to murder me. My mother never admits her wrong doings to me, rather she blames me

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If what you mentioned about your parents and your brother is true, that they harm and mistreat you, then this is strange, because most of the relatives usually have affection, sympathy, and mercy towards each other, so how about if they are in the same family?

The matter is even stranger when it comes to the mistreatment of parents to their children, especially the females among them!

One of the most important things we recommend you to do is to supplicate Allah as much as possible, especially the supplications that include asking Allah for wellness and well-being. If Allah blesses you with wellness, then you will be safe from evil and afflictions. You will find in the booklet The Fortification of the Muslim some of these Ath-kaar (remembrance of all).

In general, you should mention Allah as much as possible as the remembrance of Allah drives away worries and anxieties and incites peace and tranquility in the soul.

Allah Says (what means): {Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."} [Quran 13:28]

Besides, you should be patient for the outcome of patience is goodness as it helps one to be steadfast and it is a reason for raising one’s ranks and expiating his sins.

You should try and find out the reasons for this mistreatment, as it may be due to your behavior – with a good intention – but it was misunderstood, so you explain to them the truth, or that you are negligent about the rights of your parents or your brother, and this made them angry, so you would apologize.

You should be kind and benevolent especially to the parents, as this may help in getting rid of the hatred and replacing it by affection, as Allah Says (what means): {Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.} [Quran 41:34]

You should avoid doing something that may harm your parents as this implies being disobedient and undutiful to them.

We advise you to contact the wise and rational people from among your family, especially your uncles and anyone whom you hope that he will convince them, so that they will strive for reconciliation, and help you in the search for a righteous husband – if you are an adult woman – who will help you in your religion and worldly matters.

We ask Allah Almighty to grant you wellness from every calamity, and to grant you security, faith, safety, and Islam, and may He enable you to do what He loves and is pleased with.

Allah knows best.

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