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Fatwa CenterA mother hindering her son's marriage – a Sharee‘ah viewpoint
Question
I am a 32-year-old well-off young man. I am the only son of my mother whom I take care of as Allaah The Almighty Commanded me. My problem is that I am everything in my mother's life and therefore she hinders my marriage. Whenever I propose to a girl, my mother first agrees and then invents vain and illogical reasons to end the engagement. This caused me to lose a religious and moral fiancée. It seems that my mother does not want me to marry and wants me to remain in her service and for her only. I do not want to anger my mother and meanwhile I want to maintain my chastity. What should I do? My mother is stubborn and does not accept to listen to anyone trying to convince her that she is wrong. Please advise. May Allaah Reward you.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
You are not required to obey your mother and remain unmarried, for dutifulness to her does not mean that you remain unmarried. If you can afford marriage and fear immorality, marriage will be obligatory for you. In such a case, you are not permitted to obey your mother and remain unmarried. Your mother is not entitled to prevent you from marriage and you are permitted to disobey her in this respect. In some Hadeeths, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
· “Obedience is required only in what is permissible.” [Al-Bukhari]
· “There is no obedience to a creature on account of disobeying The Creator.” [Ahmad and others]
Nevertheless, you should be kind to your mother, do your best to persuade her, seek help from Allaah, ask Him to Expand her breast to approve your marriage and faithfully promise her that you will never neglect her rights after marriage. You can seek the help of a person whom your mother approves of, and he can influence her by explaining the matter to her and reassuring her.
Allaah Knows best.
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