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Fatwa CenterHer fiancé is having second thoughts about her
Question
I reverted to Islam 2 years ago Al-hamdulillaah, from Hinduism. I am engaged to a man who lives in Iraq and I live in Canada. In the past 4-5 months I spent our money very carelessly. I bought a luxury car, expensive clothes incite of having a university debt I am paying. For this valid reason my fiancé is very upset at me. He has time and time again informed me that it is Haraam to waste money but I went ahead and did exactly what he warned me against. This has caused a lot of problems in our relationship and he now he feels that he does not want to get married to me. I have asked for his forgiveness and I told him that I will repent. I reverted to Islam after studying it for 4 years and I should have know better but I made a mistake and I sincerely feel bad about it. This issue has escalated to the point where he told me that he is not sure if he would even want me to be the mother of his children as he doubts the Islamic values I will instill in them. He saying that to me really hurt me and I feel like it is going against everything I know Islam stands for, such as mercy and forgiveness. I know I made a mistake but I don’t think it warrants such a harsh punishment. Please inform me if what I did was indeed very horrible that does not merit a pardon from my fiancé whom I love very dearly.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, we congratulate you upon embracing Islam and we ask Allaah to help you perform its religious obligations and comfort you with this religion in this life and in the Hereafter.
The matter is as you mentioned in the question that Islam advocates mercy, Allaah says (which means): {… Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allaah should forgive you?}[Quran 24:22]. Moreover, the Prophet 
said: "Indeed Allaah does not increase the one who pardons except by more honour…" [Muslim] So if you were negligent of the right of your fiancé on you and then sought forgiveness from him, then he should pardon you, forgive you, and keep you as his fiancée. However, if you had taken some of his money without his consent, then you are obliged to give it back to him or seek his forgiveness about it.
Our advice is that if this fiancé is religious and has a good moral conduct, then seek the help of righteous and pious people to reconcile between you, but if he is not so, or that he is insisting on invalidating the engagement, then you should ignore him. It might be that Allaah willed good for you by repelling him away from you, and He may bless you with someone who is better than him. Indeed, there are some incentives which would help you to submit yourself to Allaah and be pleased with His Decree, which is the statements he told you and which hurt you. For these lapses to happen at the beginning, even before the marriage contract, could mean that after marriage, what is worse than this could happen. So take easy and leave the matter to Allaah.
Finally, we advise you to supplicate Allaah as much as possible to bless you with a righteous husband and there is no harm if you seek the help of some trustworthy Muslims, like the brothers who are running the mosques and Islamic centres. It should be noted as well that a fiancé is a marriageable man to his fiancée, so it is not permissible for them to be in seclusion or for her to look at him or talk to him without a need. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa: 84300.
Allaah knows best.
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