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Fatwa CenterIn some cases parents’ treatment of their children differ according to their gender
Question
Sir, I was a little confused with one of the topics. Dose the rights of parents with children differ by gender? As in, mother with daughter, and mother with son; are there separate restrictions? I ask this because, in fatwa no. 90596, it said there is no harm in breastfeeding a 15years old girl, but in fatwa no. 89635 it said the 17years old boy cannot take his mothers breast to his mouth. Is this difference because of the age? Or because of the gender? If it is for the age, then can a 15 year old boy suckle / be breast-fed from his mother? And would a 17year old girl be restricted from her mothers’ breast? I ask because a similar situation is happening at my family. I need advice urgent. Jazaa kamull’ah Thank you. Salaam
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The obligation of the children towards their parents in regard to being kind and dutiful to them and spending on them if they need support do not differ according to the difference of the sex of the children. However, the way the parents deal with the children may differ according to the sex of the child. For instance, a daughter is permitted to see and touch the parts of the body of her mother that the adult son is not permitted to see or touch.
Therefore, the examples which are mentioned in the Fataawa to which you referred are in this context. The difference is that the 'Awrah (parts of the body that must be covered in Islam) of the mother with her daughter is from the navel to the knee. This means that the mother is permitted to breastfeed her daughter, while her son is not permitted to see from his mother except what she is usually permitted to reveal, like the head, the neck and the like, as discussed in the above-referred Fataawa.
For more benefit, please refer also to Fataawa 84062 and 90591 which clarify that the difference is due to the sex difference and not in regard to the rights of the parents on the children according their gender.
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