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Her husband lacks the zeal for good deeds

Question

Assalamu alaikum, My husband and I were born muslims in non muslim country but recently I realised that we did not understand Islam and started seeking knowledge and trying to improve on the basics Alhamdulillah. Performing Salat properly, learning the Quran and other Islamic books,listening to Lectures and doing voluntary acts of worship, Tahhajud, fasting Mondays and Thursdays. Also trying to avoid what is haram to the best of my ability. I try to encourage my husband too to improve on his deen but he is not comfortable with me doing this acts of worship especially performing the Tahhajud (stating that it is not obligatory) nor me telling him about the religion. I like to please Allah as much as I can and I am not comfortable with him behaving in this manner and trying to discourage me. My worry is I have to obey my husband so that he should be pleased with me as it is my duty equally I saw in a Hadith , that if a Woman dies while her husband is please with her She will enter Jannah but since I started learning and improving on my deen he dislike it and me too equally dislike the fact that he is not wanting to improve his deen nor wanting me to improve my deen. Do I have to listen to him and reduce the voluntary acts of worship and talking to him about the deen. Then at times he tells me he is uncomfortable with me liking to discuss only about the deen and feel like leaving but I try to calm him down explaining to him even though he tries to argue Iam patient. How can we resolve this situation to better understand ourselves and stay happily together and bring up our children too as muslims Insha Allah.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

At the outset, we ask Allaah to reward you abundantly for being keen on acquiring beneficial knowledge, for performing good deeds and for inviting your husband to do good. We also ask Him to rectify your husband and guide him to His straight path.

First, we advise you to supplicate to Allaah for your husband as Allaah is near and He answers supplications, and the hearts of the people are in His hands and He turns them as He wishes. Allaah Says (what means): {And your Lord says, Call upon Me; I will respond to you.”}[Quran 40:60]

As regards to inviting your husband to do good, then if you can seek the help of a righteous person whom Allaah has blessed with Islamic knowledge, good moral conduct, and a good method in Da’wah (calling people to Allaah), then such a person might be better and more likely to influence him than you talking to him. However, if you need to talk to him, then you should do so in a soft and gentle manner without causing him to be apathetic by talking to him too much or criticizing him too much and so forth.

As regards you performing supererogatory prayers, then this is permissible and your husband has no right to prevent you from doing so if this does not lead to you neglecting some of his rights. For more, please refer to Fatwa 143269.

Allaah Knows best.

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