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Fatwa CenterA woman by nature follows a husband with strong determination
Question
My wife and I have now been married for almost six years, but since we got married she has been diverting me. That is, when I want to adhere to the teachings of Islam she draws me to the way of Shaytaan (Satan) although I have advised her many times. What should I do with her? Should I divorce her while we have two daughters and I fear that she will take them and not bring them up well?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allaah would have them guard.} [Quran 4:34]
Allaah The Almighty made the man in charge of his wife, and the righteous woman is the one who obeys her husband. ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf 
narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “When a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts the month of Ramadan, maintains her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, ‘Enter Paradise from whichever gate you wish.’” [Ahmad]
Qays ibn Sa‘d narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “If I was to command anyone to prostrate before another, I would command women to prostrate before their husbands.” [Abu Daawood]
This wife should obey her husband and help him worship Allaah The Almighty. She should not hinder him on his way of true adherence to Islam.
You should continue to call her to the way of Allaah The Almighty leniently, using all possible means of encouragement and disuassion, as well as all the means that might cause her to change. If she finds you a man with a cause, bearing the trouble of calling her to the straight path, a man of principle who is adherent to the religion, she will inevitably respond to you.
This is the nature of women; when she sees her husband is determined, she naturally follows him. But if she finds him negligent of his religion, she does not pay any attention to him.
You should be a caller to Allaah The Almighty. If you do not call towards what is good, then you will be affected by the calls to evil and consequently be diverted from the path and lead you to the worst of evils. If your wife is not the cause of this diversion, another will cause it.
We advise you not to divorce her, as long as she observes prayers. Rather, you should call her until Allaah The Almighty guides her to the straight path. ‘Ali narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “If Allaah guides aright even one person through you that is better to you than to possess the most valuable red camels.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
The wording of another narration is: “If Allaah guides aright even one person through you that is better to you than this world and what it includes.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
This Hadeeth (narration) is directed to both men and women, and your wife is the person who is most worthy of your guidance and kindness.
Allaah Knows best.
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