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Fatwa CenterDeciding with whom their mother should reside
Question
My grandmother just came back from India, and her daughter (my aunt) wants her to live permanently at her house. Then again my dad also wants her to stay at our house permanently. So since they're both arguing, I asked an Alima, and she told me the son has more of a right than the daughter. I told my aunt this, but she says no, and she wants proof. So if you would be really kind to give me the rights answer along with some proof. I'd be really grateful.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Each one of the sons and daughters of your grand mother has a right to take care of their mother.
These children should agree about her living arrangements, whether she will stay with each of them temporarily for a period of time, with each of them, for same period of time, or to stay with one of them permanently with the other helping to provide for her.
Our advice is that they should keep her with the one who is better able to take care of her and spend the most time with her, and where she chooses to stay.
Sheikh al Islam Zakaria Al Ansari said in Asna Al-matlib: "If a needy person has two decedents who are equal in family relationship and inheritance, or has no inheritance, or are different in gender or not different in gender, like two sons, or two daughters, of a daughter and a son, they both should spend on her equally even if they are different in wealth and inheritance, or that one is rich with his money and the other with his earnings from work, because they are both required to spend on their kinship, and spending is not divided among them according to their inheritance."
Al Ramli, may Allah have mercy on him, said in Nihayat Al Muhtaj: "If the descendants are equal in inheritance or there is no inheritance, or are both males or both females, they should both spend equally or their ascendant even if they are different in richness, or that one is rich with his wealth and the other with his earnings from work, as they are both required to spend on their kinship as they are equal with regard to the family relationship in relation to the ascendant"
Allah knows best.
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